Recent Observation On The Nature of Mother / Daughter Relationships

I suspect this will be a land mine upon which I will throw myself – but here it goes. This is using sweeping generalizations, which means exceptions exist (but may not be the rule).

Males, tend to want to be of service and/or want to solve problem(s). We’re hardwired to this behavior.
Females, tend to like convenience and safety- and expect others to provide this (and anything else) to/for them. I cannot say this is a hardwired thing so much as a societal/cultural thing.

Dads often will accommodate their little girls- which helps ingrain this sense of ‘serve me, i obviously deserve it’ point of view….along with other societal/cultural pressures/norms, this can get out of hand– especially if the male/dad takes it a bit too far, and doesn’t stay in control of his faculties to say ‘no’ and stick to his guns…or the girl doesn’t practice self restraint in exercising her power over her father.

Couple that with a woman’s natural ability to be confrontational, as well as ‘stick with an issue’ they are confronting on – this typically gets known as ‘nagging’ after too long.

Men don’t like to be nagged- so they either do the act to prevent nagging, or they run away to avoid nagging…men rarely nag, as they loathe being nagged.

Now, put at least two women (or females who have taken these societal teachings to heart) in the same room for prolonged periods of time, and they will soon annoy each other with the above described activities…inevitably conflict/confrontation appears. both parties will really carry on with the nagging (or whining in worse cases)– and eventually tire (emotionally) of the activity…but, and here’s the crux— if both females are strong on ‘have to be RIGHT’ factor, there will be hard feelings as neither will clearly feel like the ‘winner’…this will yo-yo throughout the relationship, until it comes to a frothy and electrifying apex…

Boys/men do not like nor want to be around this level of conflict, so again will be very pleasing or fast to retreat whenever they sense any of such behavior to be forthcoming— but females seem to thrive on this and think nothing of it— again, except for the alpha/dominance/win factor, can put up with it until a tipping point spills out….at which point- and this us usually is between a mother and daughter exclusively, the ‘soul sucking’ factor hits critical mass- and a falling out occurs, ending up in the separation of daughter from family unit (or sometimes worse, but we’ll not go there right now)…

at some point, the two resolve enough of this to re-open communication and become ‘friends’, but not before the mother has to come to terms that the daughter is in fact a woman, and women do these things–but it boils down to ‘there ain’t enough room in this town for two of the same kind’ syndrome…as, in spite of all parenting strategies aside, the daughter often takes on most of the traits of the mother– which tends to not work well – much like same polar types of a magnet repelling each other…

so, in short- boys will want to make (moms) happy, or they’ll get the hell away- while girls wont give a hoot about making mom happy and end up annoying her because they are actually acting in very [eerily!] similar ways….

this comes from years of personal experiences, observations, and dysfunctional family interactions…
take it for what it’s worth.
🙂

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