The Rainey’s have another good one–
My own personal experience can attest– I’ve felt loved when my spouse tells me how much she appreciates me (or shows me appreciation with affection or other attention).
While it’s true we don’t need acknowledgment, we certainly thrive when we get it!
Ephesians 5:33
Let the wife see to it that she respect her husband.
One day Dennis gave me a list of what he considered to be the needs most men have:
- Self-confidence in his manhood.
- To be listened to.
- Companionship.
- To be needed sexually by his wife.
- To be accepted and respected.
Counselors and pastors would give you similar lists, based on their experiences. And you know what this tells me? The “macho man”-self-contained, independent and invulnerable-is a myth.
To bolster Dennis’s confidence, I try to encourage him by being his best friend. Every husband wants his wife to be on his team, to coach him when necessary, but most of all to be his cheerleader. A husband needs a wife who is behind him, believing in him, appreciating him and cheering him on as he goes out into the world every day.
The word “appreciate” means to “raise in value.” When I give Dennis words of praise and encouragement, I raise his value, not only in his eyes but in mine as well, and that builds his confidence as a man.
The psychologist William James said, “The deepest principle of human nature is the craving to be appreciated.”
And Charles Swindoll adds this: “We live by encouragement and die without it. Slowly, sadly and angrily.”
When is the last time you told your husband you appreciated him?
Prayer:
As a wife, take your husband’s hand and express to God your appreciation for him.
Discuss:
As a husband, share with your wife the times you have felt most appreciated by her.
As a wife, ask your husband how you can be his “cheerleader.”
Dear Lord,
Help me see when my wife is showing appreciation and affection- even when I don’t normally understand her actions as such. Make US an instrument of your sacrament of marriage— the conscious union of two independent people willing to unselfishly give of ourselves to the other, in your name.
Amen.
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