2008-11-08 Events In My Life

Today, I had several realizations.

Now, mind you- realization doesn’t mean I’ve hit upon enlightenment, awakening or mainstream-of-consciousness…just, something that sort of smacked me in the face ‘realization’…

I’m insane.

Yes.
Really.

You see– I was cleaning the unhealthy amounts of dirt, cat urine and detritus from a bathroom in a house that I own– since the former tenants moved out, and such things need be done if I am to expect to be able to rent the place out to the next tenant (or, God willing- BUYER)…

Anyway, I was cleaning– in turns asking God for assistance and cursing God for the turn of events…(yes, not very obedient of me- I admit)…but finding 2 years accumulated shit, piss and litter stains behind a low lying, water efficient commode tends to bring out the angry in me…

I’m insane.
we rented the place out to tenants in dire straits– with hardly a background check, and willingly with 8+ cats and 3+ dogs…(what would yo expect the place to be, immaculately CLEAN after that many animals??)

This is not the first time we did something like this. In fact, it was the second. And we’ve done it a third time too….
But somehow, we expect the tenants to behave and do the right thing and clean up after themselves…
At least this time we didn’t have to go to court to get them out….
but I digress.

Somehow, throughout all the trials and tribulations I’ve been through in this ‘business’, I still think I’m going to make money…to get back what I put into it..and believe me, I’ve put more than just $ into this…

Well– we keep doing the same things– and we’re getting the same results…
nothing. actually- negative income…and declining market value in addition to sinking deeper into difficulty finding renters.

I’m insane.
I need to cut my losses and just get the f*** out of dodge.

But it’s not that simple.
Because the partner, who also feels like they’ve invested a lot, is unwilling to do this…even if it means we are looking at bankruptcy.

I know I’m being taught a hard lesson— and the phrase ‘the road to hell is paved with good intentions’ really holds profound meaning for me at this point..

I just pray, and ask you to pray for us too…

Please.

thanks.

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