Take the risk to be True

Yes, cut so you can choose to read or not…


From Intimacy: Trusting Oneself and the Other:

No relationship can truly grow if you go on holding back. If you remain clever and go on safeguarding and protecting yourself, only personalities meet, and the essential centers remain alone. Then only your mask is related, not you. Whenever such a thing happens, there are four persons in the relationship, not two. Two false persons go on meeting, and the two real persons remain worlds apart.

Risk is there- if you become true, nobody knows whether this relationship will be capable of understanding truth, authenticity; whether this relationship will be strong enough to stand in the storm. There is risk, and because of it people remain very, very guarded. They say things that should be said, they do things that should be done; love becomes more or less like a duty. But then the reality remains hungry, and the essence is not fed. So the essence becomes sadder and sadder. The lies of the personality are a very heavy burden on the essence, on the soul. The risk is real, and there is no guarantee about it, but I will tell you that the risk is worth taking.

At the most, the relationship can break– at the most. But it is better to be separate and real than unreal and together because then it is never going to be satisfying. Benediction will never come out of it. You will remain hungry and thirsty, and you will go on dragging, just waiting for some miracle to happen.

For the miracle to happen you will have to do something, and that is: Start being true. At the risk that maybe the relationship is not strong enough and may not be able to bear it-the truth may be too much, unbearable–but then that relationship is not worthwhile. So that test has to be passed.

Risk everything for truth; otherwise you will remain discontented. You will do many things, but nothing will really happen to you. You will move much, but you will never arrive anywhere. The whole effect will be most absurd. It is as if you are hungry and you simply fantasize about food—beautiful, delicious. But fantasy is fantasy;it is not real. You cannot eat unreal food. For moments you can delude yourself, you can live in a dreamlike world, but a dream is not going to give you anything. It will take many things from you, and it will not give you anything in return.

The time that you spend using a false personality is simply wasted; it will never come back to you again. Those same moments could have been real, authentic. Even a single moment of authenticity is better than a whole life of inauthentic living. So don't be afraid. The mind will say to you to go on safeguarding the other and yourself, to keep safe. That's how millions of people are living.

Once you are true, everything else becomes possible. If you are false–just a facade, a painted thing, a face, a mask-nothing is possible. Because with the false only the false happens, and with the truth, truth.

If the relationship survives truth, it will be beautiful. If it dies, then, too, it is good because one false relationship has ended.


I think this pretty much sums up my relationship record, friend or otherwise…

I tend to not so much as wear a mask, but to draw back the veil of obfuscation…slowly exposing the deeper parts of myself….
Inevitably, at times, either the revelation goes too far/fast, or shows something someone doesn't like/want to see…and away they go.

It does cause pain at times, but I never try to hide who or what I am…the effort of masking seems so pointless, since I enjoy intimacy anyway.
And no, I don't necessarily mean physical intimacy. I mean emotional, intellectual, spiritual closeness. The kind of intimacy that matters most, and is applicable to all (regardless of sex, race, religion, creed, color, nationality or other 'defining' aspects).

So, be wary Friend…
Sometimes we don't like Truth..but I find it a better place than lies.
If someone can be truthful with me, even if I may not potentially like what it is, I can definitely respect it better than convenient (and harmful) deceptions [or defenses/protections, depending upon your point of view].

For those whom I've scared with my candor, with my essence, I am sorry.

For anyone who may be afraid to be true with me, please take the plunge. I'll respect you in the morning. I can guarantee it.

As a point of synchronicity, one of my LJ friends responded to a post in her journal recently:

We must all stay steadfast to the truth – without turning our back fully on those we can touch. But they must be willing to be touched, they must be receptive… we can not force others to walk a path they do not envision.

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